First of all, most people that get married don’t see themselves as half of a pair — they still see themselves as a person who has their own life, their own priorities, their own love, their own hate, their own hobbies, their own habits… and here’s another person with their own life, and I’m gonna try and get from them everything I want for myself and they’re trying to get from me what they want for themselves.

Two selfish people come together — they don’t really become zauj (a spouse). They don’t come together as two halves; they’re two wholes. That leaves a gap in between their marriage: mentally you’re not thinking of yourself as someone who’s going to give half of themselves up for somebody else.

Literally, if you only have half, the other half is somebody else’s, right? That’s what married life is. You gotta give up half the stuff you wanna do. And you have to replace it with what she wants to do. And you too — you have to give it up for what he wants to do. That’s how it works, that’s zawaj (a spouse), that’s marriage.

– Nouman Ali Khan

– Reblogged from Aneesah Satriya

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