Don’t Marry a CA

Firstly, I would love to thank my wife, Aziza Mowzer – she’s awesome and couldn’t have ask for a better wife 🙂

Yes, she implements some CA strategies in our house, but it’s effective and adds value. Now for the joke of the day. Someone forwarded this email to me earlier – thought I’d share it.

And yes, my wife is studying to be a CA. lol!

Enjoy:

“I have a professional woman as my wife; a Chartered Accountant. She usesCA
LIFO method while taking out the refrigerated food. She thinks I am no
good with numbers. Fine with me, for now she handles the budget of the
house. Initially she used to send me a bill at the month end, but when I
told her that I am not her client but her husband, she asks for the
money in advance. The expenses had been rising steadily over the months,
so one day I snooped into the papers maintained in a current file. No
wonder! She was charging mileage and overtime to the house budget. She
is crazy, I tell her but she corrects me. No honey, I am the auditor. I
fail to see the light. Every scrap of the paper in our house is filed.
She tells me as per some ordinance she must keep a copy of every thing
for at least ten years before destroying it. I am worried.

The other day we had an hour-long fight. Later, I got to know that she
had charged that hour to a client of hers, in the time sheet. My time
was put down as unoccupied.

She says that she loves me and I tell her that I love her too. However,
she never believes me. She says that there is susceptibility of it being
a misstatement. Duh! She wants my presentation on this!

Last year our house accounts got a qualified opinion I had not kept the
supporting etc. of my purchases. Not a long time back my brother’s
wedding was to be solemnized. Wedding cards had been sent.

After some time I started receiving a steady trickle of letters. I was
puzzled until my wife explained that external evidence was more
reliable. She had called for confirmations from all those to whom cards
were sent.

When she cooks: my wife at times does not go by recipe. Where the recipe
says add half-teaspoon vinegar, one tsp black salt or one teacup of
water, she ignores them. She says that they are not material when taken
in context of whole meal being prepared.

She is crazy, I tell you. Surprisingly everybody calls her an auditor,
instead. I checked the dictionary and it did not state that auditor is a
synonym for crazy. The dictionary must be outdated.

When we got married she had given me an Engagement Letter and I Had said
how cute-how sweet. Now she gives it to me every year saying that her
standards state that it must be sent anew if there is any indication
that I have misunderstood the objective and scope of engagement. Huh!

Apart from sending me the engagement letter once again she says I can’t
get rid of her just like that. She says that she has the right of being
heard before I appoint some one else.

Phew! For a minute, I thought that we had jeopardized our going concern
status. Duh! Dare I say so??

I am told by one of my female colleagues who is married to a CA that the
scenario is even worse when the guy is a CA. Apparently he capitalized
the wedding expenses as preliminary expenses and is writing it off every
year. Also the time he spent dating his wife before marrying her is
still under consideration for valuation…valuation of intangible
assets.

So guys please think twice….should u really marry a CA? And yes please
discount it by the appropriate rate to arrive at the present value of
the risk of doing so!!!!!!! “

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